Thirteen years ago, I fell in love with God’s wisdom. Head over heels, crazy in love.
I remember it vividly. How could I not? My life changed dramatically when I came face to face with this stunning blessing.
I was months into the most intense season of my life, a time which I have often referred to as the dark night of my soul. Postpartum hormones, spiritual warfare, and a lifetime of toxic thinking created the perfect storm. My mind was a mess – so much so that, unbeknownst to me, people were telling my husband I should be hospitalized.
During this time in my life, I sought the Lord like never before. I saturated myself in the Word of God day and night. I prayed and praised and took my thoughts captive. I did everything I knew to do to obtain the peace of God.
I saw glimpses of hope, but I couldn’t seem to break free of the chaos in my mind or the pounding in my chest. I was overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, and confusion.
One night as I was lying in bed with my heart and my mind racing, I couldn’t help but think it was time to call my doctor and ask him to increase the dosage on my anxiety medication. Something had to give. I couldn’t keep enduring the intensity of the season. It was just too much.
I told God I didn’t understand. If His Word was true (and I believed it was), then why wasn’t I experiencing the peace He promised? As I questioned the Lord in frustration, the scripture from that morning’s sermon came to my mind: “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5 NASB95)
I pondered the verse for a moment and realized I had nothing to lose. It wouldn’t hurt to test this promise out. In desperation I cried from the depths of my soul, “Lord, would you please show me what to do with this anxiety??” Immediately, into the chaos of my mind came the clear, concise words, “Pray to be still.”
I was surprised by the quickness of the Lord’s answer as well as the specific wisdom He had chosen to give me. But I was quick to respond to His guidance.
“Lord, help me to be still!” Immediately, supernatural stillness came into my mind, body, and soul. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. My mind, which had been racing just a moment ago, was now quiet and at rest. My heart was calm, no longer beating wildly in my chest. Honestly, it was the first time in my life I had ever experienced such stillness physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I was shocked. Asking for wisdom had actually worked! The peace I was experiencing stood in stark contrast to the intense anxiety and mental chaos I suffered with just moments before.
This was the beginning of major breakthrough for me.
I began to ask God for wisdom in everything, and He came through, sometimes immediately and other times eventually. But always, His answers led me on the path of life and freedom.
And then I read about Solomon in 1 Kings 3. The Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Ask what you wish Me to give you.” Solomon’s greatest desire was wisdom, so that’s what he asked from God. And that’s what he got. When I read this, every part of me cried out fervently to the Lord, “Yes, I want that too, God! Give me Your wisdom!”
And He did just that, bringing hope along with it. Rather than increasing the dosage of my anxiety medication, I ended up weaning myself off it altogether. I no longer needed it.
That was thirteen years ago. Am I walking in complete wholeness today, free of all anxiety? No, I’m a work in progress, as we all are. God continues to heal my soul from trauma and woundedness. When I rely on my flesh and go my own way, I fall apart. But when I pursue His wisdom and walk in it, I cooperate with Him in the healing process, and I prosper and thrive.
Have you come face to face with the glory and goodness of God’s wisdom? I encourage you to pursue it passionately. You will discover treasures, blessings, and freedom.
“Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Proverbs 2:2-6 NLT
The key to wisdom is asking God for it as you dig into and apply His Word.
“Your commandments make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever mine. I have more insight than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation.” Psalms 119:98-99 NASB95
To fall in love with wisdom is to fall in love with Jesus, the source and embodiment of wisdom. Wisdom is worth your relentless pursuit because HE is worth knowing in increasing intimacy. This is where abundant life is found.
** There is no one-size-fits-all approach to conquering anxiety, but there IS one critical and foundational component: God's Word and wisdom. Come join us at The Connection this fall for a Bible study that will equip us in our journey of overcoming - "ANXIOUS: Fighting Anxiety with the Word of God" by Scarlet Hiltibidal.
Kimberly Vaughn is The Connection’s blog editor, as well as a co-leader for their mentoring program, “Together.” She is a wife and a homeschool mom of two. Kimberly has a passion to encourage and build up other women, especially those who are hurting and broken. She has been involved in various aspects of ministry since graduating from Bible college over 15 years ago. It is her desire for women to experience hope and transformation in Jesus through the words she writes and speaks.