Inescapable Kindness

A dear friend of mine died just before Thanksgiving, after battling cancer for close to a year.

And her husband sang at her funeral. About God’s goodness.

He and other members of the family stood up front and repeatedly said, “God has been so kind to us.”

What?? How do you stand at your high school sweetheart’s funeral and sing about God’s goodness? How do you declare God’s kindness in the face of agonizing suffering and loss?

It is only by knowing God personally. When you walk closely with Him by faith, you cannot escape His kindness.

“Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life….” Psalm 23:6a

Even in the midst of great pain, God’s kindness is active in our lives. Sometimes we may have to search harder than others to find it. We may have to sift through our grief, skepticism, anger, fear, or despair, but when we do, we will find God’s kindness.

This past year I found it in the unlikeliest of places – smack dab in the center of my fears.

In May, a questionable sonogram and concerning blood test results led to a CT scan and a follow-up sonogram, which led to a referral to a skilled gynecologic oncologist at Mercy Hospital in Baltimore. Despite my many fervent, faith-filled prayers that God would make a way around surgery through some miraculous intervention, I had surgery in September. Over a week later, I found out my diagnosis was endometriosis.

Let me tell you how God demonstrated His kindness to me through all of this:

• Though fear initially threatened to overtake me, the Lord reminded me to cling tightly to Him and His promises.
• As I meditated on His Word, the peace of God surrounded me.
• When scary thoughts and feelings came upon me, I prayed “Jesus, hold me together,” and He did.
• The right songs came on the radio at just the right time, filling me with hope.
• The Lord repeated the same comforting things to me over and over again through songs, scriptures, and His Spirit.
• Though I really dislike big cities, unfamiliar circumstances, and hospitals, God helped me in practical ways, like providing easy parking and pleasant medical environments that weren’t so sterile.
• Whereas some people would find it torturous to drag out health unknowns over a period of four months, God knew I needed time to process, pray, and strengthen myself in His presence.
• My husband was very supportive and encouraging, especially in my most anxious moments.
• On the day of surgery, I became panicky in the hospital lobby, but in that same moment a prayer came over the loudspeaker and brought me stability and comfort.
• In the elevator of the hospital, a nurse with kind eyes encouraged me and said he would pray for me.
• I was concerned that coming out of anesthesia I would feel out of it or nauseous, but neither happened. In fact, when one nurse came in to my recovery room, she remarked, “You don’t even look like you had surgery!”
• My surgeon, who has done over 30,000 surgeries, told my husband that it was one of the more difficult surgeries he has done because everything was so stuck together. God knew what was going on inside my body, and He provided me with the best care possible.
• My body is doing much better than it was before surgery.

And there are yet more ways that I could testify to God’s kindness during this season of my life! He manifested Himself to me in very personal ways, letting me know on a deeper level how much He loves me.

Are you going through a hard time? God’s kindness can be found in your present circumstances. Dare to trust Him and “the kind intention of His will” for you in this hard place.

He is for you and not against you. He has kind intentions.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

When you know God and walk intimately with Him, you can sing and testify of His kindness even at the most seemingly outrageous times.

Kimberly Vaughn

Kimberly Vaughn is The Connection’s blog editor, as well as a co-leader for their mentoring program, “Together.” She is a wife and a homeschool mom of two. Kimberly has a passion to encourage and build up other women, especially those who are hurting and broken. She has been involved in various aspects of ministry since graduating from Bible college 20 years ago. It is her desire for women to experience hope and transformation in Jesus through the words she writes and speaks.